If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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