I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
