So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i now understand why vodka
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
