You're a womanizer and a bitch.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
