So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
