..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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