I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
