We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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