yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
