is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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