Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
