fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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