I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
