dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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