Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
