So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
