I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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