Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
