This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
