I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
