I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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