i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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