I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
