I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
