I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
