it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
