HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
