did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
