I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
