Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
