paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
