yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
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