I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
