Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
