That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
