I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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