you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Randomize
