Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
