SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
