My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
