I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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