i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
