Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
His hands were made for my vagina.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he fucked my hip out of place.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Randomize
