I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He felt like a one man threesome
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
