So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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