And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The power of my boobs compel you
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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