She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
