You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
