omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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