I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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