sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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